So I just finished reading my friends epic journal she wrote about her adventure in California but guess what, she didn't see Katy Perry. That's messed up knowing Katy is a California Gurls which makes her unforgetable, right?

Well reading her journal entry kinda got me depressed because one thing is that her family is so close together and no one is left behind. I never got to experience that with my own family. It's always been my mom, sister, and me this whole time. My dad was kicked out when I was just a baby. It was his fault because he was an alcoholic, and I bet you right now, to this day he still drinks. I hated myself for years wondering why I never had that family relationship. When I look at my friends friend's family, I can't help but feel depressed because their parents somehow found a way to work things out and love each others flaws.

That family I wish to have will never happen. Today, my own step mother emailed me to see how I was doing and to tell me to give MY DAD a call. What the fuck is wrong with that? Am I the only one who see's this being a problem? She has the nerve to tell me to call MY DAD. The last time I talked to the man, he tried to get me to guilt trip my mother so she would let up on the overdue child support he owes. I fucking hate him and her sooo much. I legit cried when I read that and I almost called to yell at them for putting my sister and I through this shit for years.

Well, I am soo fucking depressed these days, I really wish I had a better life with my mom and sister but, you have to play the game and it sucks. I can't believe I even suffer this much and yet I smile through it all. I hate waiting for my life to just end and go away. I really need to find answers to questions but I have limited time. Well I am off to bed early, goodnight deviants.